There’s a Native American saying that says if everyone in the tribe threw all their problems in one big pile they would each take back their own. “I’m glad I don’t have that problem.” Yet still we insist on getting our hands in other people’s stuff.
Sometimes the weight of our problems or the sheer volume is overwhelming. What if we could reduce or even eliminate most of them right now? The quickest and easiest way to do that is to realize that many of the burdens we carry are not ours. Huh?
Byron Katie says that there are three kinds of business in this world: yours, mine, and God’s. She claims that unless it is directly under your control, it does not belong to you. What a relief! So if my child won’t do his homework and I can’t do his homework then I don’t have a problem.
Another gem of Katie’s wisdom is that to think that you know best for anyone else is pure arrogance. Even with the best of intentions, it’s not our job to fix other people’s problems for them. Why? For one thing, we wouldn’t want to rescue them from the opportunity of actually learning something for themselves. For another, when you’re in someone else’s business, no one is tending to yours. So the kid gets to go to school empty handed and you get to resolve something of your own!
Owning your problems and no one else’s is liberating in a big way. No more do you need to worry about what others are doing or not doing, much less how. You can hold them in the space of love and trust that they will figure it out. Or not. You can surrender God’s stuff (and isn’t it truly all) and stop playing Master of the Universe.
Try on Master of Me for size instead. Without distractions you can get down to business. Stop using other people’s stuff as an excuse for avoiding yours. Allow God to handle God stuff. Problem solved!